Imagine a world where parents send their young children out of the house to play without first teaching them safety rules, such as how to look both ways before crossing a street and not to talk to strangers. Inconceivable, right?
That is what is happening in homes every day when parents allow children unsupervised and unrestricted access to the Internet, according to Chuck Arnold, a police sergeant on the city of San Diego's Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force.
At a talk in June at Muirlands Middle School, Arnold urged parents to take a more active role in their kids' lives -- especially online.
"The intent here is not to scare you, but to educate you," he told a roomful of parents.
But he did both things -- scare and educate. He gave parents lots of reasons to be concerned about what their kids might be doing online.
And he shared the three things that parents ought to be doing to keep kids safe in the cyber world: 1) keep current about what is happening in cyberspace, 2) keep checking what kids are doing, and 3) keep communicating.
Arnold, a 30 year veteran of the police force, is full of stories that would terrify a parent. Vulnerable teens who are befriended by what they think is another teen, only to learn later it is an adult looking for sexual gratification. Teen-age boys who mistakenly upload the entire contents of their family computer (including tax returns) on a file-sharing site. Kids who bully others online. Kids who learn about multi-partner sex and how to build weapons through You Tube videos. Young girls who are humiliated when their provocative photos go viral.
He said the most important thing a parent can do is talk to their child about Internet safety. He said that parents should set family rules and expectations as well as consequences for broken rules. Parents should decide how much and what time of day their kids can spend online and the sites they can visit. He said parents could arrange with the phone company so texting is only during certain hours.
He also urged parents to keep tight control of digital devices. Put the computer in a public place. Check the kids' browser history, profiles and buddy lists. Have the cell phone be charged in the parents' bedroom (so the parent can read the texts and emails and make sure the teen isn't texting all night). Turn off the WI-FI t at night.
"Is a phone a God-given right?" he asked. "No! Don't be afraid to take it away. This is the most power you'll have over them until they drive."
The event was organized by the La Jolla Cluster Association, at the encouragement of Bird Rock Elementary Technology Teacher Andrea Flagiello.
If you missed the talk, visit www.smartcyberchoices.org, a new initiative of the San Diego Police Foundation.